More Than Useless
by Jenna Wilder
Summary: OneShot songfic. Felix remembers his first few days in Prox after crossing swords with Saturos. Felix's POV.


Hmm. Why do I always get ideas for stories just as I sit down to do homework? Well, this is another thousand-word thing, for those of you who read The Sixty Second Conspiracy. Technically, that was last week's. This is this week's. Yay me. – grin –

Word count: 1733 – ish. Hey, a little more and I could have done two thousand words.

Disclaimer: I don't own Golden Sun. If I did, there would be a third already. I also do not own the song "More Than Useless"; it's Relient K's.

---

"Get up, boy!" Saturos yelled harshly, nudging my side with his heavy boot.

I was too cold to do anything but lie there and shiver. He finally lost patience, grabbing the back of my collar and hoisting me up by my own clothing. "Can't you do _anything_ right?" he bellowed. "Even we of the Fire Clan can withstand the cold!"

_I feel like, I would like  
To be somewhere else doing something that matters  
And I'll admit here, while I sit here  
My mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather_

"Don't be too hard on him, Saturos. He's only been in Prox for a week." Menardi's voice caused the blue-haired man to whip around in surprise.

"It doesn't matter! What kind of a soldier is he, giving up because of cold?" he snapped back, tightening his grip on my collar. "We should never have fished him out of that river. He's just another hungry mouth to feed…and we have too many starving Proxians already. I say we throw him back in the water and see if he swims."

Menardi grabbed his sword-hand, the one he wasn't using to hold me up, and twisted it behind his back in one smooth movement. "Put him _down,_ Saturos. _Now. _We didn't have to rescue him, yes. But that's all in the past, and look – you're scaring him."

I guess the terrified feeling I had inside must have been showing on my face, because Saturos glanced at me and let go of his hold on my cloak. Thankfully, I fell into a mound of snow. Not so thankfully, it was the same bone-chilling cold that I'd been trying to keep away for the past week. 

What's the purpose? It feels worthless  
So unwanted like I've lost all my value  
I can't find it, not in the least bit  
And I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you

I was no fighter. The sword that Saturos had bought from the weapons dealer in Prox was badly fit for my hands, and the pace that the Mars Adept set for training had left me achy for the first few days. The cold numbed any aches I might have felt now.

As Saturos and Menardi began to argue, I began to cry. Silently, of course – had Saturos seen me weeping, whatever favor I had left in his eyes would be gone, with no hope of recovery.

And I stumbled to me feet and ran. I didn't care where. Prox was cold. I wanted warmth, something to heat me up from the inside and keep me warm. There was no such thing in the North; not even the few leaves of tea Menardi had left from her travels could make a drink hot enough to kill the cold inside me.

"What are you doing back here?" The voice was a curious lilting one belonging to a girl I knew only as Menardi's sister. I thought my hiding place had been good enough; apparently the tiny space behind the Inn wasn't. She squeezed in and sat next to me, hugging her knees in order to fit.

"…Go 'way. 'M cold an' I sh-should have died in th-that river. Would'a m-made Saturos happy. I j-just make him m-mad, anyways."

"I'm Karst. And you're not making Saturos mad…he's just very strict about his training. He wants you to be able to defend yourself," she said cheerfully. "I've seen you training. If you weren't so cold, you could be really good with a sword."

_  
And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all  
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all  
But then you assure me _

I'm a little more than useless  
And when I think that I can't do this  
You promise me that I'll get through this  
And do something right  
Do something right for once

She pulled my gloves off my hands and sighed. "There, see? That's your problem. Your hands are all icy. If you were a fire adept, you could warm yourself up, but since you're not I'll have to help you."

Her Psynergy was the heat I had craved so badly since coming to Prox.

She warmed my hands and gloves with the touch of fire all Proxians had, and then stood up. "Come with me. I'm going to teach you what I know about swords – then maybe you can pick up what Saturos is teaching you."

So I say if I can't, do something significant  
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted  
And nothing trivial, that life could give me will  
Measure up to what might have replaced it

Too late look, my date book  
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone  
And I bet, that regret  
Will prove to get me to improve in the long run

The sword she placed in my hands was the two-handed blade, the one Saturos had picked. Carefully, she showed me how to hold it so that the weight was better balanced. The sword itself was dull from little use; a trip to the blacksmith fixed that and we went to her house's basement to begin anew.

She stayed up with me that night, guiding my novice's strokes and teaching me how to slash an enemy without killing myself, how to guide the blade so that it actually hit something, and how to use it to direct my Psynergy. I could have sworn I'd seen Menardi watching us, but when I looked up at the top of the stairs there was nobody there.

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all  
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all  
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless  
And when I think that I can't do this  
You promise me that I'll get through this  
And do something right  
Do something right for once

Karst got her scythe and began to practice alongside me as I went over the basics again and again and again. "See? You're getting better! And all it took was some warmth."

Her scythe swung suddenly at my head, and without thinking I blocked it with a stroke she'd taught me, locked my sword into her weapon, and yanked it away from her.

"_That's _what Saturos is looking for," she said simply, going upstairs and leaving me to my thoughts.

_  
I'm a little more than useless  
And I never knew I knew this  
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day  
That I would do something right  
Do something right for once_

Karst poked me awake the next morning, trying not to laugh. "You fell asleep on the floor, Felix-kun. Saturos is looking for you. Remember, he's not mean…just worried."

I got up and strapped the sheath of the sword over my back, so that it'd be out of the way when Saturos told me to defend myself as he did every morning. The sword I held in my right hand, thankful that I wouldn't feel the stiffness of exercise for the next day or so.

"There you are." Saturos said as I let myself outside. He seemed quieter for some reason. "I…I was harsh yesterday, and I'm sorry."

He was stunned by the grin I gave him; I decided to turn the tables on him even if I did lose. "I forgive you. Now, defend yourself!"

I could almost feel Karst's hands on mine - as they had been last night - while I attacked head-on.

Shock nearly rendered me immobile as the flat of my sword actually connected with his head, knocking him over into a snowdrift. 

I notice, I know this  
Week is a symbol of how I use my time  
Resent it, I spent it  
Convincing myself the world's doing just fine  
Without me  
Doing anything of any consequence  
Without me  
Showing any sign of ever making sense  
Of my time, it's my life  
And my right, to use it like I should  
Like he would, for the good  
Of everything that I would ever know

"You've gotten better these last three years," Saturos said – with a hint of pride in his voice - as he pushed the tip of my sword away from his neck with a gloved hand. "You don't even mind the cold any more."

I sheathed my sword, the same one I'd held for three years, and helped him up. "Thanks," was all I could manage, amazed that Saturos had actually complimented me.

Strangely, he didn't stop there. "You used to be such a weakling…I nearly gave up on you, you know. And then, you found your courage somewhere. I'm surprised you didn't give up back then – I certainly provided a good enough reason to."

"The end will justify the pain it took to get us there." I said, quoting something Karst had told me just before she and Agatio left on their newest mission. I didn't tell him just how close I had been to giving up when Karst had found me crying, the teardrops freezing on my face. I don't think he ever learned what made me change my mind.

Saturos looked at me strangely and nodded. "That sounds like something Menardi would say."

_  
I'm a little more than useless  
When I think that I can't do this  
You promise me that I'll get through this  
And do something right  
Do something right for once  
_

"Saturos and I have something we need to carry out, Felix. Puelle has ordered us to go back and try to claim the Elemental Stars once more." Menardi said in her normal fast-paced tone, knowing full well that I could keep up with her now. "Saturos tells me that you're ready to come with us. What do you think?"

My fingers closed around the sword I carried eternally – although the belt for the sword actually rested securely across my shoulder, the sheath hung at my waist – and I nodded mutely.

We were going back to Vale.

She put the last item in her bag and tightened the straps, then slung it across her shoulder. "Go pack up. We're leaving in fifteen minutes. Oh, and Felix?"

"What?"

"We're proud of you."

_  
I'm a little more than useless  
And I never knew I knew this  
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day  
That I would do something right  
Do something right for once_

---

I dunno... for some reason, this struck me as something Felix might have experienced. Of course, I'm just imagining. I don't even know if Saturos _did_ train Felix or not. Constructive criticism is appreciated; please correct any grammar/spelling errors you find. I tried to find them all, but there's no telling what Microsoft Word has done to my poor story.

Flames will feed the fire that is being set to cremate my Algebra textbook. I loathe math. – kills it –


End file.
